By Christina DesMarais
Whether you admit it or not, you’re not perfect, likeable and charming all the time. It follows then that there are things you do which drive the people around you crazy.
Here’s are habits you need to break if you want to be less annoying and a person others gravitate to.
Oversharing about your perfect life on social media
First off, your life isn’t perfect so why are you promoting a curated version of it? Doing so is disingenuous, and being fake is annoying.
My colleague, Inc. columnist Jessica Stillman, penned a fantastic piece which outlined several reasons this habit is bad for the person doing it, as well as whoever is within earshot. First, the synapses in your brain rewire themselves to be closer together when you employ the same line of thinking. So, thinking (and communicating) negativity makes it easier for you to be negative in the future. Second, the negativity you emit when complaining rubs off on the people you’re talking with. Whether they understand this consciously or not, the people in your world don’t want to be around your negativity because it robs them of their energy. Chronic complaining isn’t good for you on a physical level, as well, because when you do it your body releases the stress hormone cortisol, which adversely affects your cognition, blood pressure, cholesterol and bone density while making you gain weight.
Hogging the stage
Let’s say you’re dining with a group of friends. Is everyone participating in the conversation equally? You definitely don’t want to be the person everyone else wishes would shut up. One sure-fire way to be more likeable: Ask good questions and get the introverts around you to tell their good stories.
If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of someone who thinks they know what you’re thinking or why you’re doing something–and they’re completely wrong–you know this is pure aggravation. Never assume what’s behind someone’s behaviors. Maybe they’re having a rotten day, have life problems you don’t know about or are thinking about something completely unrelated to what you surmise.
Repeatedly rescheduling social obligations
You have important things going on in your life and your calendar is brimming, no doubt. But your social connections in life are monumentally important. Researchers have found that individuals with a strong social network are healthier, happier and live longer than those who are isolated and lonely. If you keep putting your social obligations on the back burner, there’s a good chance they’ll fade away.
I suspect that the people who do this are incurable, considering it results from an innate sense of unworthiness. Psychologists have found that insecure people often try to make themselves feel better by showcasing accomplishments, complaining about things which are disguised brags, or communicating what high standards they have (which make others around them feel less-than). Make sure you’re not an unknowing braggart by showing genuine interest in others, not hogging the stage, and holding back promotional posts on social media.
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