“There are other things which a man is afraid to tell even to himself, and every decent man has a number of such things stored away in his mind.” – Daniel Goleman – Psychologist, journalist, and author
The quote comes from Daniel Goleman’s book Vital Lies, Simple Truths: The Psychology of Self-Deception, first published in 1985. This work is a deep dive into the mechanics of self-deception, unraveling the subtle and often unconscious ways individuals and societies shield themselves from uncomfortable truths. Goleman, a psychologist and science writer, draws upon diverse fields—neuroscience, social psychology, and everyday observation—to illuminate how neglecting uncomfortable or challenging insights is a natural, sometimes protective, but ultimately limiting human tendency.
This specific passage highlights the central premise of the book: the limitations of thought and action that arise from unnoticed blind spots. Goleman’s insight addresses both the psychological barriers that restrict personal and collective growth, and the paradox that change can only begin once these barriers are recognized. He suggests that only through noticing the effects of our own inattention can genuine transformation occur.
About Daniel Goleman
Daniel Goleman is an internationally recognized psychologist, journalist, and author, best known for his groundbreaking book Emotional Intelligence (1995). Before achieving global acclaim for that work, Goleman authored Vital Lies, Simple Truths, reflecting a longstanding interest in how cognitive mechanisms like attention, denial, and repression shape human experience and behaviour. Trained at Harvard, Goleman’s interdisciplinary approach merges scientific rigor with accessible storytelling, allowing him to translate complex psychological concepts into practical insights for personal and organizational development.
Across his career, Goleman has explored how emotions, cognition, and awareness intersect, influencing everything from mental health to leadership effectiveness. His legacy is the promotion of self-awareness as a cornerstone of both personal fulfillment and social transformation.
Leading Theorists and Origins of the Field
The subject of self-deception, cognitive biases, and the psychology of attention has a rich theoretical heritage. Several prominent figures have shaped this landscape:
-
Sigmund Freud: The foundational theorist of psychoanalysis, Freud conceptualized defense mechanisms such as repression and denial, processes by which the mind protects itself from distressing realities—a theme echoed in Goleman’s exploration of self-deception.
-
Jean Piaget: Known for his work on cognitive development, Piaget introduced concepts of schema and assimilation, highlighting how individuals filter new information through existing frameworks—sometimes distorting or ignoring data that doesn’t fit.
-
Leon Festinger: As the creator of cognitive dissonance theory, Festinger explained how individuals seek to reduce psychological discomfort from holding contradictory beliefs or behaviors, often through rationalization or denial.
-
Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky: Their pioneering work on cognitive biases and heuristics in decision-making revealed how systematic errors in thinking often occur beneath the threshold of conscious awareness.
-
Robert Trivers: A biologist who provided evolutionary explanations for self-deception, Trivers argued that deceiving oneself can be an adaptive strategy for deceiving others more convincingly.
-
Carl Jung: Explored the shadow—the unconscious aspects of personality that are denied or ignored—and the process of individuation, which involves acknowledging and integrating these hidden facets.
Goleman synthesizes and extends these perspectives, offering a unifying framework that situates self-deception not as an individual failing, but as a pervasive, socially reinforced process that binds communities and cultures. The book challenges readers to notice what they fail to notice, inviting a deeper reckoning with the invisible boundaries shaping their reality.
Significance
Goleman’s insights on attention and self-deception have influenced fields as diverse as psychology, management, organizational behavior, and education. His work encourages critical self-reflection as a precursor to meaningful change—in individuals, teams, and entire organizations. The quote serves as both a caution and a call to action: real progress demands that we become aware of our own blind spots, for they silently circumscribe the limits of both thought and possibility.
